The school of martial arts I belong to has the philosophy, “If the hand goes forth, withhold the anger and if anger goes forth withhold the hand”. This means that if you must fight let it not be in anger. Last year the Dublin Temple broke from MOAA and within a month had set about it’s new course toward forming a new Golden Dawn Order, it called itself the “Ancient and Honourable Order of the Golden Dawn”. Within two months of the split from MOAA and after a number of personal difficulties between myself and the leadership in Dublin progressing I received the following e-mail:
My immediate reaction was one of extreme hurt and loss. I was angry but not yet sure how angry I was. That knowledge came in time as I was forwarded the following email which had been forwarded to all the members of the budding AHOGD, I can only presume that it was also forwarded to Candidates who were waiting at the time for initiation. Something to consider as you read this is that Dean/Yechidah and Gerard/EOE named the new Order the “Ancient and Honourable Order of the Golden Dawn” – when you’ve finished ask yourself is this traditional or honourable to do? I ask you to consider this if you are a member of the Golden Dawn community, the Irish esoteric community or otherwise when approached by seekers.
Point 1: It should be understood what was said to Oein was concerning some personal issues between myself, Fra. Yechidah and Fra. EOE as he was at that time a mutual friend to us all. Fra. Yechidah and Oein had been friends for years before a bitter falling out and only recently made attempts to reconcile at this point. Fra. EOE had joined the small circle later but even so he knows better than to state that Oein expressed no interest in the Golden Dawn as this is simply not true.
Point 2: Wow! Way to paraphrase what happened EOE! Those that were there know precisely what happened. I freely admit that I quickly lost the run of the workshop but stating that I grabbed Fra. Yechidah’s breasts and told people that touching in ceremony is standard is way off base! I told people we had a small space (which we did) so some touching was bound to happen and to be mindful but never to abandon personal safety.
Point 3: The charge of not doing the work of the grades or barely doing it is bogus! Fra. Yechidah was and presumably still is the Praemonstrator (teacher) of the Dublin Temple and anyone thats encountered him in person or online knows what a stickler he is! Also, if EOE is that keen to share he should remember any repeats I had he had too! As for missed meetings, I’ve never once missed a meeting at the Dublin Temple! EVER! My day involved leaving my home in Limerick at 07.45 for a bus to town to catch a train to Dublin Heuston arriving at 12.05 and catching a LUAS (tram) to the Temple by 12.15 maybe 12.20 if I stopped to pick up something to nibble on for the Temple (rarely just for myself) and because I was more often than not catching a train back same way leaving Dublin at 21.25 with NO TIME to get food. This meant I was arriving in Limerick City for 23.30 and far too late for buses to my apartment. For the record Temple meetings officially started at 13.00 – 18.00 but we never finished on time because Fra. Yechidah used to be late. Anyway more often than not some Chief work was needed doing from 18.30 or 18.45 onwards before I really had to dash home.
Point 4: What a load of clap-trap! There was no formal warning in February. There was a meeting wherein I explained my difficulties concerning the nature of my epilepsy and that I needed more help, which was promised to me but inevitably never to come.
Point 5: The creative history comes in very handy here! This was at the point when we’d broken from MOAA and decided to set up as an Independent Temple with a notion toward founding an Order. The pair of them in a Chief’s meeting made some nebulous comments about ordering of grade initiations which I sought to clarify as this was yet another long day and to be honest I’m still not sure I misheard them but I was very tired.
Point 6: *le sigh* More erroneous comments from EOE here! I’ve never been initiated into Wicca and therefore never been privy to any goings on therein and this is something many of the then new members of the Dublin Temple asked me about and I answered honestly. As for the obsession with teaching – erm, until my final year of college and halfway through it my planned career was in teaching! They knew this, so “obsession” or career? The part relating to Soror RSCF is a bit obtuse in this situation as no one had any answers least of all me and unlike certain others there present I didn’t faff and pretend otherwise. I told what I thought *could* be the answer but conceded I didn’t know! In fairness to Soror RSCF she seemed more than understanding and seemed to understand where some of my conjectures were coming from and clear that they were indeed conjectures. More to teaching… huh! Interesting comment here from someone who’s never offered any information related to what was in gradepacks to people! EOE has no more insight than I do yet my questioning of the Candidate’s thought-processes was to offer them a chance to speak up and speak freely without Yechidah or EOE nodding and derailing them to something a little more agreeable. The function of the Antica in MOAA as EOE and Yechidah ought to have known since they were the core facilitators with Yechidah functioning as Warden (there was a YouTube clip of him appearing at a Talk on the Golden Dawn at Féile Draíochta 2011 which has been set to private now).
Point 7: Concerning my Oibre-Mhor blog this is rather bizarre because EOE seems completely unaware that Yechidah was online on Skype with me as the final piece went up! I don’t deny that I made a rather ‘candid’ post but I stand by what was written since at no point did it EVER speak of any one Candidate’s specific details. I resent this entirely considering that it was I who proposed that Anticum meetings be conducted with confidentiality in mind. The issue as raised by Yechidah in particular was one of language used and frankly I obliged because he’d added me to the Temple’s blogroll unbeknownst to me and I felt that the blog could go more official rather than a space to vent and clear my thought (which is what all my blogs have been!).
Point 8: What EOE omits here is that he and Yechidah had come to their decision a LONG time before the official split with MOAA and only discussed this with me when I was ambushed from members of MOAA wishing to know what the hell was going on! The request for two weeks grace was in order for me to finish my Final Year exams in university which they were aware of and while Nick and members of MOAA were encouraging me to wait and finish my exams Yechidah and EOE were the one’s adding pressure for a public resignation! Did I mention all this happened on by birthday? Pretty sucky by itself but being bullied by my spiritual brothers and friends not so cool!
Point 9*: What the f*ck does a counsellor know about medication? Nothing thats what! And he’s certainly not my counsellor so has no basis for making such accusations. For those new to my blog(s) let me explain I have a form of epilepsy which is genetically inherited from my father’s side of the family. It has a unique trigger which is “cognitive abilities”, this means working things out like math’s (and by extension bookkeeping) and spacial awareness (web design work, chess/draughts and art even). I’ve been free from tonic-clonic seizures (formerly grand-mal) for over 6 years and had also been free of myoclonic jerks (partial seizures in my arms and legs) for two months and with doctor’s knowledge any awareness I was off medication. My own health professionals who are qualified to speak on my condition were kept fully apprised of the situation.
* As an FYI I contacted Accord who Gerard aka EOE claims to be trained with and they have no registration for any Gerard by that name or address on file.
Point 10: Alright I’ll admit I ought to have been in touch when my resignation letter (email) wasn’t forthcoming but I’d been doing the books (yeah muppets I did them in one week, it wiped me out but I did it!) and realised that it wasn’t so simple. Handing over wouldn’t have solved all the issues and frankly I realised my co-chiefs had plans to spend all the money we had to hand and leave us with no emergency funds or anything. It just all started to seem stupid! What they’re calling a Candidate’s meeting used to be called an Anticum while with MOAA and they hopped that meeting on me as I was leaving to grab a train home to Limerick, they’d assumed I was staying in Dublin with family which was/is a rarity as they knew well. And I was on Skype for most of Sunday when I’d texted and emailed them when I would be online and they never showed and eventually texted me back to rearrange but by then I was busy with family related items which was explained to them as well. FYI: Anticum/Candidate’s Meetings lasted as long as Initiates’/Temple Meetings and meant I could attend fewer of these but I wasn’t required to be present here.
Point 11: EOE is NOT the praemonstrator and what he omits here is the amount of times I did listen thankfully and intently to him but he ultimately had a different system of studying than I and kept interjecting on this day and failed to be respectful of my needs. I can’t help but notice the tone of expectancy in this comment as he really seems to believe himself my superior… we were off the same grade having always been initiated in succession in MOAA, and as I said before he repeated what I repeated so if thats inferior standard then he too ought to have stepped down as Imperator of the Temple and focused more on his studies!
Let me surmise now by stating that I am no longer out of control in my anger. The anger I feel is for the inaction that tends to cripple modern magical traditions opening new seekers to further abusive situations.
I am aware that there will be “fall-out” from my decision to release this post. Some will simply find it titillating to scoff at another Order or Tradition’s supposedly inner squabbles being made public. Others again are likely to find it distasteful considering the “Oath of Secrecy” to prohibit such actions – obviously I disagree considering many traditions make use of vouch systems through “back channels”. There are those that will find this all very shocking and distasteful – remember always that discernment lies at the heart of the magical path.
Finally I will state that I have endeavoured to be honest and accurate in all my accounts of events and my own perspectives on matters. In no way should this reflect on members of MOAA who were only kind and helpful endeavouring to remain fraternal with members of the new Ancient and Honourable Order of the Golden Dawn.